just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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