When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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