Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
