Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
This house was built for laser tag.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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