Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
