it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
