Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
