i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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