and she was petting her beer can
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
