We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
