and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
