i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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