"it" just moved
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
