when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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