Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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