he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
