weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
