I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
