I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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