I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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