Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
