Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize