Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
