remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
