I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize