Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
