So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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