Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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