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You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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