so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
