Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i think my cat just said my name.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
