tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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