At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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