You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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