Sponge bath it is.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
