I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
