I am puke
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
COCAINE IS GR8
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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