Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
