I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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