Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
