Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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