Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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