he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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