i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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