Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
