Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
