I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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