Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
