Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
