I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
