did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
