You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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