So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
