You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
