Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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