do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
