Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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