What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
