I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dignity is for republicans.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
