it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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