I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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